I kinda miss my old life (married guys rant)

[Ang3lus]

just now, my wife and 1 year old went to bed at 9pm, wife is usually up till 12am and we talk etc, we both work opposite shifts (only way i could take of my 1 year old at morning time, too young for kindergarden). so every free time i have i spend with my wife.

i cranked open some beer, sat down on the sofa and instead of "working" (i'm a musician almost full time, so instead of practicing basically) I sat down to watch TV (how i met your mother).

that's what i used to do before i was married, sit down, watch TV, then go practice for 4h-6h (guitar).

i've been married for almost 2 years.

I miss my old life kinda, I know this is far better, but real life is tough.


just had to vent

[timbo_93631]

Yeah dude, it aint always easy.  Wife and I are having 5 year anniversary this August and we have an almost 3 year old, and a 1 year old.  Wife works as a teacher and I am home with the boys during the day, then school or music at night, and pedal and amp building in the wee hours after everyone else is in bed.  Sometimes I really miss the time my wife and I used to have together just us lounging around doing "couple stuff" whenever, and however, and as often as we wanted.   So there are real constraints on how much of that we get to do anymore.  One day the boys will be all grown up and we'll be able to have some of that time again, but not anymore of the time we are having now with the little ones.  For now I am trying to do my best to raise my boys up into good men with pure hearts.  That is a pretty rewarding job from what I have seen so far.  It is nice when the kids start really talking, out older one is constantly talking to me now.  It is really neat.

[nzCdog]

Wow that brings back memories.   My 2c is that the times in life where we've had less money but less stress have been the happiest... working too hard just aint worth it IMO... it burns you down slowly and can slowly kill the sweetest things in life like those special relationships.  Look after eachother man, things will get better soon.

[Ang3lus]

yeah
seems life leaves you nothing but working for the man.

[Strategy]

My girlfriend has been having baby fever bad and setting deadlines for creating offspring. I'm into it but trying to consider how to combine the interests of music and children. My hope is that when the kids are old enough, they can play music with me. I know kids tend to prefer things like xbox, kickball, etc. but I can hope for a drummer or saxophone playing child, can't I??? I can think of no better way to create my ideal band other than having children and encouraging them to get good at instruments I need in my band 

[TNblueshawk]

Well, as a married man of 25, I have no kids. My wife didn't want any and I was cool with it. I many times think about my friends and family and said to myself "there is no way I could do what I've done with past hobbies and my newest ones, pedals and amps, woodworking, if I had kids". Early on I missed my single life, but after a few years I didn't. You realize you aren't really missing much anyway. Of course part of that equation is having a wife you jell with and if you are lucky they become your best friend. Gravy at that point.

[timbo_93631]

My hope is that when the kids are old enough, they can play music with me. I know kids tend to prefer things like xbox, kickball, etc. but I can hope for a drummer or saxophone playing child, can't I??? I can think of no better way to create my ideal band other than having children and encouraging them to get good at instruments I need in my band 

Yeah, both my boys are all about music because we have it in our home as a daily part of life.  We don't own a gaming system and the only TV they watch is on Netflix so there are no commercials.  When the music comes on or the guitar comes out it is time to play and dance and sing.  I'd say it is easy to keep your kids off of TV and video games, just don't have it in the house.  Kickball, well that is fun too, I think that physical stuff is just as important as the mental side of things, and music is great beczause it is physical and mental at the same time. 
     All I can say is, if you have kids their future becomes infinitely more important than your own in an instant, when you first hold them. 

[gtr2]

With three little ones, I feel your pain.  Hobby time is limited.  Date time is non-existent.

That being said...I wouldn't change a thing. 

[jkokura]

I'm with Josh. My kids are the best part of my life! My wife and I are just about at 6 years now, and we've a 2.5 girl and a .5 boy. Certainly they cut into my time, but my priorities really are to put them ahead of myself so I don't mind. After they went to bed last night I got 3 hours to put into my dirtbag and I am happy with that. Occaisionally my wife gifts me with a whole day, and certainly when I have orders to work with I get time for that.

Fortunately, much of my hobby I can do from a Laptop in our living room while my daughter and I watch some silly Disney movie together. (After all, I do have the 2nd highest post count on this forum...)

Jacob

[DutchMF]

Occaisionally my wife gifts me with a whole day, and certainly when I have orders to work with I get time for that.

I think Jacob has a good point here. If you talk about your feelings (and be sure to choose the right words, otherwise your in for trouble...) good chance your lady will understand and the two of you can work something out to give you the chance to have your old life back, if only for a day every month!

I just got married last september, no kids yet, and we're not sure if we're going to try to have some, but it's nice to hear all your stories! I especially would like to take a look in timbo_93631's living room when he breaks out the guitar!

I have the same feelings now and then about my "old life", but that was something I just couldn't keep up, health-wise. I'm a very lucky man that she made me see that, and that a lot of my friends from that period made the same decision. It's just so good to have them around and enjoy this together!

Paul

[tenwatt]

My wife and I hit the seven year mark this year.  We're still without kids.  I don't like other people's kids and I'm only around them for very limited amounts of time.  I can't imagine living with my own.

[Ang3lus]

that's very different tenwatt.

I never liked kids, ever.

it's different having your own, they are like a smaller version of you, how can you not like them ?

there's a saying here that the first kid always looks like the father, cause the first kid is always the wifes idea.

then after that, they all look like the wife, cause they are all the fathers idea

[dwstanford]

Kids are great.  I have a 5 yr. old and a 6 mo. old and while i feel sometimes that i could get so much stuff done if everyone would leave me alone for a few hours, i'm glad they don't.  I remember back to the days before i had a wife and kids and i was a big time procrastinator.  I wouldn't get anything done until i had to.  Having kids has forced me to budget my time much better and be more eficcient with the one or two hours a day i get to myself.  Now I get more done in an hour than i did in a whole day when i was single.  Life is weird that way.  Sometimes the things we think are dwindling away are really only being cut down to what's truly important.

[pryde]

Married for 10 years and have a 7 yr old boy and 5 yr old girl. 

My boy loves to "experiment" with LEDs, trannies, etc. on the breadboard with me. My girl loves to wail on my strat with the fuzz-face at max. Absolute joy.

These tiny humans get more fun every day 

[Comfort Player]

We just celebrated our 19th earlier this month. 2 kids who are now 11 and 13.  I don't really miss the single life really. I enjoy spending time with my family and while it was a blast watching Buzz Lightyear 35 times, I am now loving spending time with my two boys as they get older and start to enjoy sports, girls, music, golf etc..

Just tonight as my youngest and I were loading songs on his ipod he starting cracking up and when I asked  him what was up he said he just noticed that the Aerosmith album "Night in the Ruts" was something different if you changed the letters around.  He asked me if they did that on purpose.  So I said what do you think ? He said, yea I bet they did.  Adults are always hiding little jokes in stuff that little kid can't see just to be funny.