very off topic, but man I gotta vent this one right now

[movinginslomo]

Can't vent it on facebook for soon will be obvious reasons. My parents go to a local methodist church. The church has an annual Christmas "seasons of giving" party. Its a non denominational party, but being a christian church tends to exclude Jewish families due to it's christmas nature. We have a now regular female member is nearly allergic to air. Very bad case. She is extremely cautious in public. During the party we had her grandson dropped off. Who is also allergic to living (no offense meant, its a horrible condition I have empathy), Kids eats a peanut cookie, has SEVERE reaction. We had NO IDEA the kid was coming. NOW the pastor in all her wisdom is placing a ban on all food in church until further notice. After church social tome, public dinners, potlucks, parties. NOTHING until we can "ensure" the church is allergen free... MY BRAAAAAIN. If you are allergic to most of life or know someone who is, an unverified public party is NOT a safe place to be.

[EBK]

Is Communion banned too?

[TGP39]

Did the child have an epi-pen? 
I understand how you feel, but the church must think of its future.  A potential lawsuit could ruin them.   
Steve.

[movinginslomo]

Did the child have an epi-pen? 
I understand how you feel, but the church must think of its future.  A potential lawsuit could ruin them.   
Steve.

Tee kid was 9, apparently no epi-pen and knew full well he was allergic to everything. The person in charge of him being there notified NO ONE he would be there and couldn't consume the food. And trying to tell a church full of simple maine country folk that they have to now follow strict recipes for traditional maine bean suppers.. WHOO BOY

[movinginslomo]

Is Communion banned too?

If someone is allergic to grape juice or bread YES

[HamSandwich]

Is Communion banned too?

If someone is allergic to grape juice or bread YES

There are no allergens in grape juice. Bread... maybe.

[juansolo]

There are no allergens in grape juice. Bread... maybe.

Celiac's can't eat bread. Have a friend with that. Basically anything with gluten in it. Which is pretty much everything.

[Aristatertotle]

Is Communion banned too?

If someone is allergic to grape juice or bread YES

There are no allergens in grape juice. Bread... maybe.

People can be allergic to grapes actually, it's just not a common allergen.

As someone with multiple food allergies, some of which cause my throat to close, I will say it's bad guardianship on the part of the person who brought the kid to not notify people/ask if anything contains something potentially life threatening to the child. The kid is bordering on the age of where they should be more proactive in their own we'll being, but kids are also dumb and will eat pretty much anything without thinking about. Part of being responsible for a child is helping them to learn how to protect themselves from the dangers of the world.

I would say your pastor is within their rights to limit what can/can not happen within the church, as they are in charge. However, I think a flat out ban on all food until the entire congregation starts cooking completely allergen free is untenable. I would say a better idea if really want to protect themselves is to look at any restaurant or food label and follow what they do: buy a disclaimer sign that says any/all food may contain or be processed in the same facility as milk, tree nuts, etc., etc.

Living with food allergies really sucks, but it's something that you have to learn to be proactive about. Seems like the pastor is reacting with extreme prejudice, and I would suggest to them having a allergen warning sign that they place on the serving table instead of a flat out ban/an idealistic vision of having normal people properly wash and sanitize their kitchen in a way to clear all potential food allergens. You're lucky enough at a pot luck if someone brings a serving spoon they didn't lick clean. 

[alanp]

Celiac's can't eat bread. Have a friend with that. Basically anything with gluten in it. Which is pretty much everything.

My sister has coeliac disease, medically diagnosed in her when I was maybe 5? Basically, ever since I can remember, whenever the family went shopping, we had to read the damn ingredient list on everything we bought. It's only recently that gluten free pizza has been a thing -- growing up, if we went to Pizza Hut, Mum had to make a base at home, bring it to the restaurant, and explain in length to the staff.

It's why I have no patience at all for people who do utterly, utterly stupid diets for no reason.

At church, they also have rice wafer on a separate plate at Communion that they will offer instead if you ask (and grape juice separately, if required.) I think, if memory serves, that the Catholics are still sticky about the whole gluten thing in Communion.

[sonnyboy27]

It seems to me that people have a tendency to move between extremes. It's one of those easy, knee-jerk reactions people have. Thing X caused an issue so all we have to do is remove X entirely and then nothing bad will happen. You seen it a lot in family dynamics. Someone thinks "My parents did this and I hated it, so I'm going to do the complete opposite" and then their kid ends up having their own issues because of it. It's interesting since that's where that whole thing in the Bible about the sins of the father reaching back 3-4 generations thing comes in and warns against this type of behavior/reaction. Makes it particularly interesting to see this reaction in a church (though not surprising since we're flawed people).

In cases like this it seems like it was really the responsibility of the guardian. It's a very sad situation and I can understand why a leader would jump to a decision to make someone in the community feel safer; especially if he himself is a parent. I can't imagine what it would like to watch your kid go into an allergy induced shock or something. Not saying it's the right decision or even a decision that he needed to make but I can understand why a person in a leadership position such as that would jump to one. Here's hoping it gets resolved quickly and the kid is ok.

[movinginslomo]

So I got some more details out of this debacle and some more infuriating news. (to my mom especially) Apparently the kid came with his grandmother "Ava" and they both came with pre-prepared food. While sitting and eating it the grandfather runs over and grabs the said peanut cookie made by a woman we'll call susan. The grandfather eats the cookie NEXT to the grandson. The grandson enters kitchen where he goes "I don't feel good" and proceeds to have severe reaction. He is whisked back to the church office where all pandemonium breaks loose. EPI pen produced and administered, no benadryl available. Susan is in the choir room hysterical that her peanut cookie was killing this kid. My mom talks her off the ledge. Ambulance comes, takes kid away, kids younger sister is also hysterical her brother is dying. Other kids there watching 100% traumatized. All cookies are then immediately whisked OUTSIDE on the church sidewalk out front in the freezing cold with a poor elderly volunteer with a coat.

Now another member we'll call him Bruce has now decided since Ava and her potential grandson exist, they NEED a SAFE HAVEN and the church needs to be that safe haven. Ava also happens to be a fellow pastor on administrative leave due to her fragile condition and a friend of the church's pastor. Ava has been through emotional and psychological hell these past two years thinking that anything in life could suddenly kill her (very real fear) and expresses the same fear for her grandson. Bruce feels she needs the church's love and support and anyone opposing the ban outside food is just being a horrible person. So no more food in church and no more church suppers (which is where most of the current small congregation has risen from, outreach things). Traditional maine bean suppers are a HUGE staple of maine summer life and a huge attraction to visiting tourists. So now half the congregation (including my mom) are pretty cheesed that we are no longer a food church. In fact the recently deceased former head of the church suppers who had been doing it for well over 50 years would be rolling in her grave. Her granddaughter took over the duties! She's pissed too! what a fiasco.

[davent]

Why does a traditional bean supper need to be done in affiliation with the church or at the church? Can't people organize outside of that enclave?
dave

[jimilee]

And now you see why I've left modern religion to it's own demise. I worked in plenty of churches in my time, mostly sound, and these people are anything but holy. My wife had an affair, and everyone in the church but me knew it. Nobody said a word to her. So much for holding each other accountable.
Please don't take offense, if that's your thing, it's not my place to step on you. In my mind, you've furthered my own argument.
I hope that said boy is ok, and not emotionally scarred.


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[blearyeyes]

God forbid people take responsibility for themselves and their children.

Now days it's up to the collective.

I fell down and I'm suing the ground.

[movinginslomo]

And now you see why I've left modern religion to it's own demise. I worked in plenty of churches in my time, mostly sound, and these people are anything but holy. My wife had an affair, and everyone in the church but me knew it. Nobody said a word to her. So much for holding each other accountable.
Please don't take offense, if that's your thing, it's not my place to step on you. In my mind, you've furthered my own argument.
I hope that said boy is ok, and not emotionally scarred.


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I rarely step foot in the church. take that as you wish