Gig horror stories

[GermanCdn]

So I read Jon's post about having a great gig, and I tried to coax the old brain into remembering a "good" gig I had.  Truthfully, there weren't that many, but we always had fun.  But I figured a humorous thread about bad gigs would be fun, so I'll start it.

The year was 199X (somewhere between 97 and 99, I don't exactly remember).  My group at the time all went to the same church, and we comprised about half of the chruch group as well.  The church was based out of a television ministry, and every year they'd have a telethon, so we got asked to be the house band for the telethon (playing in from and out to commercials, doing some filler songs, etc).  Now, it wasn't just us, they beefed it up with two keyboard players, a horn section, a couple of singers, etc, etc, etc, all of whom a) didn't play together regularly on Sundays if ever, so there was no group dynamic and b) most didn't play in a band setting at all, so they kinda sorta didn't understand how it all goes together.  Couple that with a band leader who, let's be nice here, is a little bit spinny, and the fact that it's live TV (and I think we might have had one half assed rehearsal), and you could just feel the success a coming.

Anyway, so we setup, we get charts, most of which we have played hundreds of times before but some that were completely new.  Out of the 7 songs we were going to do in part or in whole, only two were in the same key.  The songs are numbered (here was the first mistake), and the slots in the show were numbered, so in slot 5 we were going to do song 7 according to the showplan.  Seemed relatively simple enough, but remember, it's live TV.

So we're setup and ready to go and the floor director comes up in slot 2 and advises the bandleader that the first number is being bumped up.  Bandleader turns around and says (I don't remember exactly the sequence, but you'll get the idea) "5 has been changed to 3 and we're doing 6."  Of course, what she meant was slot 5 has been changed to slot 3 (coming up in <90 seconds) and the song selection has been changed to 6, which of course isn't the chart that everyone has ready.  Me, the drummer, and bass player figure out what's going on (our lead player never stepped in until after we started, so he was indifferent), quickly switch our charts and get ready to play, about half of the remainder of the group catch on to what we're doing and start scrambling (<30 seconds to live), and the rest have no idea what's going on.

The result - complete sonic vomit.

A grand total of four different songs got played somewhat simultaneously (Murphy's law says when the information flying around is 3,5,6,7, somebody's going to pick each one) in four different keys, singers singing different lyrics, horns coming in off key at the wrong time, etc, etc.  Most everyone stopped about 10 seconds into the chaos, and me and the guys played it out to commercial while everyone else just stared at each other.

Played the intro coming in from commercial, then we had an 18 minute break, in which we all went to regroup.  Band leader tried to laugh it off.  Me, bass player, and lead told the band leader this would be the last favour we ever did for her.  And it was.

[midwayfair]

We were playing one of the "important"/"checklist" clubs in the area. It was a Wednesday show, and a sort of vaguely curated "toss a bunch of bands together that have applied for this and see which ones sell enough tickets." A (good) friend asked us to fill out the bill with his band since there had been a cancellation.

Just a quick rundown of how the show's tickets work: Usually you "buy" 35 $5 tickets at $2 each and then sell them. You get to keep what's left, or alternatively you rend a good sound man and spot in a club for $70 and heck you could give the tickets away if you wanted. Since it was only a week and a half before the show, and we were essentially doing the club a favor, I talked them down to 20 tickets because I am bad at the hustle, and they agreed by e-mail to buy back any unsold tickets on the night.

Here's what actually happened that night: They took back the 5 unsold tickets I gave them back, charged me as if I'd "bought" the 35 tickets instead of 20, and proceeded to double sell half the people who came to see us. It was one of our most well-attended early shows, in a situation where we should have made money, in a packed club, and I lost money.

Oh, and the merch table is in the basement of the place.

Bonus: I got the board mix and I thought we sounded like crap, no matter what our friends and strangers said.

I've played other shows there as a side person since, but my band will never play there unless it's on a Thursday or Friday night and we have nothing to do with the box office. Which is a shame, because the only way that happens is by going through the Wednesday grinder a couple times or getting hand-picked out of the open mic or already having a substantial following. Because they do have some of the best sound in town, and they're one of the only venues in town where people will regularly go for random shows. So maybe I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face, but I just can't get over how thoroughly and willingly they screwed me.

[Tremster]

Once, I think it was 2003, we had a very short notice we'd have a gig on the same night. It was a very hot day.
We got there in the late afternoon, the gig would be in some rough dank basement where we set up and soundchecked. As if that had changed anything.
Since it was so hot, and since gigs on the weekends here don't start till very late, well, we drank something. And got drunk. It just happened, you know, it wasn't our fault. At all.
It was a free gig, and lots of people just stayed outside where some acoustic people were playing. Only our friends went downstairs, fifteen at max. We were far from being a good band when sober, but now we basically didn't remember a single song.
I broke a string on the guitar, and on that gig I had even brought a backup guitar, which I never do usually. And broke a string on that one too. And wasn't able to change strings anymore.
The rest I don't remember. I guess at that point some audience members took over some instruments or something, no one cared anymore.
Have always been careful with alcohol on gigs since, or actually, at all.

The band broke up shortly after. Ah. Good times.

[selfdestroyer]

I considered this a gig.. I was DJing (2 turntables & vinyl and definitely NO microphone) in 2007 in a few weekend venues and did mostly electro house and drum & bass. There was not much of a scene here in Fresno for drum & bass so its was mostly electro house. I was asked to cover for someone that was going to play 2 sets of house for this Hmong new year party. I said sure and when I got there I found out that the DJ that was on before me did a 1 hour set of gangster hiphop and all the house people got mad and left. I was stuck to play a crate of electro house to 200+ people that want to hear hiphop. haha it was terrible and the promoter felt so bad. I got paid and I got a text from the other DJs that were supposed to play there that night and we all had a awesome after party at one of their houses until 6:00am. It turned out to be a great night.

Does this count? lol

Cody

[Soup39]

Jon that venue sounds like Toads Place

[lars]

I don't think I ever played a gig where I didn't break a string.
It's always fun when the guy running the lights thinks it's the end of the song and you suddenly can't see anything. Or how about when a strobe light is so bright that it throws off your drummer's timing? Then there is the stage made out of unstable lunch tables where you almost loose your bassist...who for some reason is already about two feet lower than everybody else. And then there was the random bubbles...
Can't forget blown circuits too....
But is it really all that bad? To be in a band, playing shows, it's all worth it

[hoodoo]

After a fairly long break, my band played our first gig back, last weekend. First set, went great, had a break and started our second set, and people were saying to turn the vocals up, which i did. After a couple more songs, they said to turn it up some more. I knew that the levels were more than loud enough at this stage, so i had a better look at the mixer. There were speeches, prior to us starting, and i had muted my microphone, i'm the main singer in the band, for front of house, the foldback was still on. So.......it took a set and a half with no FOH vocals, for someone to say something    

[wgc]

Can totally relate to the lunch table stages. Scary!

As for worst gig ever, I was in college and playing a gig on campus with 3 other bands, 1 45 min set each, with 15 min in between. 30k people went to this school, it was like a small city and had some big name acts come through fairly often. The university had a pro sound club with a pretty great bit of gear.

Well right after the sound check, I was going to get a bite and I run into a girl from one of my classes. She gives me a big hug and we chat for a minute, she's excited to see my band, had a rough day, broke up with her boyfriend, yada yada.

Show time comes and there's about 500 people, I'm nervous and psyched all at the same time, never played for that many people before, pro sound, and I knew a lot of people in the crowd.  I also had a reputation as a pretty hot guitar player so they were excited to see me play for "real."

We were the first band and we start off with a popular tune, good response so far and time for me to do the solo. And all of a sudden all I'm hearing is my monitor go way low and just stage volume, which was pretty low. I do the "more volume signal" but the sound guy just glares at me. I'm stumped, don't know the dude, etc. Solo ends, who knows how it sounded. Then I'm back in the mix.

Next song, the solo mix is just treble, no mids, no bass, no boost.  The third tune I was so distracted that I screwed it up all by myself.  And so on. What did I do to this guy? Meantime I'm a train wreck. 45 min never lasted so long.

Guess who my friend's ex-boyfriend was?

Yeah, the sound guy! He was convinced there was someone else, really she was just sick of the mistrust and jealousy, plus he was the size of a line backer. I think she had something there. Mostly I figured I got off easy even if I was completely innocent.

Fortunately most people who knew me figured out that the sound guy was screwing with me but I wished I could've just pulled a bag over my head and skulked away.

[ggarms]

 I played guitar in a band called "hurt people hurt people" for a few years when I lived in columbus. Things would get pretty rowdy at our shows. One particular show, I hit myself in the brow with my guitar very, very hard, splitting my head open. It was a super deep gash and I was a few drinks in, so I bled. A lot. Finished the set, and then was driven to the hospital. I ended up with a decent concussion and 5 stitches.

[jkokura]

I got hired to do a show, I was promoting my CD and for the money they offered I said I'd do a solo thing, acoustic, which was fine with them. I had to drive 4.5 hours to get there.

I show up, and the show's been canceled. Nobody called to tell me not to come. There was no money, and no place to stay. I slept in my car and drove home in the morning. Cost me $100 round trip and I didn't sell a single CD.

Jacob