"Accounting is easy! It's just debits and credits!"

[GermanCdn]

I did use the Raikonnen answer when in a teleconference long before he used it.

I was asked, "John, it's really echoey, where are you?", I replied; "I'm taking a shit"...

Multi-tasking 

You should really go into motivational speaking when you re-enter the workforce; I think it's your true calling.

Mine, on the other hand, is writing killer letters of resignation.  Think I'm going to start up a website and do them from $99.95, complete with an updated CV for the next job.