For those who pray: finding a job, maybe missions. Whoa.

[timbo_93631]

So I am starting to look around for a job and also thinking about going into missions. 

Let me back up a bit.  My wife has been teaching high school for 5 years, before that I was painting houses to put her through college and pay the bills.  I kept on with painting the first year she taught until she got pregnant with our oldest and then selling the family farm she had inherited and buying a house in town became a full time job for a few months.  After that I stayed home with the baby and went back to school to pursue a math degree.  The goal was that I would sub after getting my degree and a sub credential, then do the credential program after all our kids are in school (we've got 3 now), then start teaching full-time.  I am about halfway done with my Bachelors', taking one class per semester and a few every summer, in Calculus II this semester and ready to transfer to CSU Fresno next fall.

My wife and I have come to terms with the stay-at-home-dad stigma and felt justified that what we were doing was right, and by far better than her teaching and me painting while our kids were in daycare being raised by someone else. 

I'll back up a little more and get into the God side of this whole deal.  We both were raised in church going homes and walked away as teenagers for various reasons.  When we met I was bartending, and she was drinking and for over a year of being together we never talked about faith or God.  Then one day we did, and God called us back to him and we started going to church together and reading the word together daily and have grown very much since then to the point we are at today where we try to live everyday serving Jesus.  It has been a long and awesome journey.  Our attempts to get past ourselves and serve him is not always successful, but in our hearts we are striving towards that goal.  We have viewed her school, one that serves a large population of often gang affiliated, low income, and socially repressed students, as our missions field and ministry for the past few years.  We have tried to go above and beyond to help the kids there reach their goals and go on to live successful lives, and to escape the many snares of the neighborhood.  Time and time again we have seen good things come from the work, and that has been a real blessing.  But both of us feel a change in our hearts this year.  I feel a stronger conviction than ever to work outside of the home, or to put it more directly, we both know without a doubt she is the right person to be home with the kids in this point of their development.  Because we both dealt with the worldly side of the stay-at-home dad thing when we had our oldest we feel this is coming as a conviction from God and not societal pressures etc.

She's making about $50k a year with 80% benefits, I add a little to that with the things I build, maybe selling 4-6 pedals per month, but that is just a drop in the bucket compared to her earnings.  I do have the ability to save us money by maintaining the house, cars, and building things for the place, kids etc. by myself, as well as doing all the shopping and cooking, taking care of the bills and budget and other little things.  All of this means we make it every month, but things are tight on one steady income and we always have to be diligent and thrifty, but God does provide what we need.   

We have missionary hearts, and would go wherever God calls us to if it is his will for us to be missionaries.  I also have been given a large skill set, from mechanics, and electronics, to the ability to do quality control work, construction, some engineering and difficult math, all of which could be applied to many different fields of work and also be very useful in the missions field.  My wife has said more than once now that she believes in my pedals and amps and that we could pursue me doing that full time, but we both agree working for an established company while continuing to build my own brand on the side is probably a better idea than striking out on my own.

If you pray, I'd ask for prayer in these areas:

1. That God would make our path clear.
2. That we will lean only on our faith in Him in making decisions, and not be swayed by fear, comfort, etc.
3. That he would provide an opportunity to serve him day-to-day however things end up.

I know some of you guys have done missions work, any commentary you could offer would be greatly appreciated.  Also any leads on jobs would be very handy.  Above all else I'd appreciate your prayers wholeheartedly. 

[culturejam]

I'll send over my hippie rainbow energy-beams on your behalf. 

It seems to me like you already know what your path is. Don't wait around; get on it!

Because we both dealt with the worldly side of the stay-at-home dad thing

Eh, can you translate this into language a secular humanist might understand? What does "worldly" mean in the context of child care?

[nzCdog]

Sure thing Timbo, prayed. Start making plans for that new job mate
'Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid'...  God is good and know exactly what you need, just receive it

Don't know if I told you how I got on, after my study.  I had a hard time choosing a new direction, but soooo needed out of my last career.  I was interested in electronics (this hobby a catalyst), but kinda afraid of it as well as I have erm... an arts degree?! Anyway I had to do SOMETHING to make a break, and when we felt  the Lord saying 'go for it,'  I went to study a 12 month course for electronic techs. Once I finished up, I was stay at home dad for 8 months while my wife worked 2 part time jobs... things were tight. 

But wow, the job I got is totally insane-o!  And sooo me!  I now work with building and construction laser and gps systems, fixing and calibrating... just love it, a great variety of electronic and mechanical technology to deal with, from new stuff to 20-year old lasers... Building things, problem solving & replacing parts, mechanical strip downs and rebuilds, helping customers... I occasionally get to trouble shoot boards against a schematic too, which is almost unheard of these days.  Crazy thing is I never even really knew about this area until I saw the job advertised!  Gotta give the Lord FULL cred, I literally started at step 3 in my new direction... I have sole charge of a brand new workshop which I set up mostly myself, and almost the same pay as what I was on at the end of my 11 years in the previous career as a TV photog! 
Grace = unmerited/undeserved favour, and it's yours.  What he has done for me, he will do for you!

[selfdestroyer]

Tim, Knowing you in person and talking to you the few times we meet up I can tell you are a 110% family man. Knowing that, I know that any decision you make will be with the best interest of your whole family. Keep an open mind about your situation and let it flow, you seem to have been doing a very good job after meeting your awesome kids.

[timbo_93631]

I'll send over my hippie rainbow energy-beams on your behalf. 

It seems to me like you already know what your path is. Don't wait around; get on it!

Because we both dealt with the worldly side of the stay-at-home dad thing

Eh, can you translate this into language a secular humanist might understand? What does "worldly" mean in the context of child care?

Thanks dude for the first part, rainbow energy beams are neato! For your question about staying home with the kids: just dealing with stigma of not following the cultural norm of mom staying home with the kids and the looks, comments, and beliefs that other people are happy to make known about doing differently.  That is what I meant by the "worldy side" of it, that  sort of judgement doesn't come from God, but from the world and the people in it.  Both of us believe that he had me stay home with the kids while my wife taught because it is part of his plan, and that it will serve his purpose though we may not always know exactly how.

[timbo_93631]

Tim, Knowing you in person and talking to you the few times we meet up I can tell you are a 110% family man. Knowing that, I know that any decision you make will be with the best interest of your whole family. Keep an open mind about your situation and let it flow, you seem to have been doing a very good job after meeting your awesome kids.

Thanks Cody!  Good to see you back around after the summer off!

[gordo]

Timbo, what a great post!  My prayers are with you bud.  I lost my job about a year ago.  I'd got back into the church after abandoning it as a teen (I'm older than dirt now).  After being on the road with a band for six years in the late 70's/early 80's I quit playing or even touching a guitar for 16 years while I got a "real job".  Started playing at the urging of a couple of friends in 2001 and hooked up with a praise band shortly after.  I'm in, arguably, one of the best bands I've ever played with, and do a couple of services every Sunday.  After 27 years with the same company (tele/data side of an electrical contractor) I got let go and REALLY struggled to get my head and finances back in the game.  I had expected I'd fall away from the church because I was so pissed (for the Brits...this means mad) at the world, and instead leaned in HARD.  To the non-believers (been there) this might sound totally corny, but the notion of following your gut instincts takes on a whole new level if you can come to grips with the fact that you don't control those gut instincts.

Long story short, I'd pray that you find direction for you and your family.  Mission work is a big commitment, but one of my pastors, a fairly timid sort of dude, moved his whole family to a dirt hut in central Africa and has never looked back.  He's found what he was looking for.

Me, I've landed and am enjoying the best gig I've had in years.  Albeit making a bunch less money.  God's taken care of me in ways I've never deserved let alone expected.

Follow your heart, you've already given it to God...

[snz728]

Mother Teresa said it best "God has not called me to be successful but faithful"

keep doing what you know is right.

[culturejam]

[ For your question about staying home with the kids: just dealing with stigma of not following the cultural norm of mom staying home with the kids and the looks, comments, and beliefs that other people are happy to make known about doing differently.  That is what I meant by the "worldy side" of it, that  sort of judgement doesn't come from God, but from the world and the people in it.  Both of us believe that he had me stay home with the kids while my wife taught because it is part of his plan, and that it will serve his purpose though we may not always know exactly how.

There ain't a damn thing wrong with taking care of your children. If anyone says otherwise, I'd question their sanity.

[pickdropper]

Good luck on your search for a new job.  I hope that you and your wife find the right combo that makes you happy and provides enough to live with a bit less struggle.

I personally don't think it matters what people think about you being a stay-at-home dad.  These days, it's a bonus if either parent can stay home and raise the children.  The fact that it is the Dad instead of the Mom isn't the 50's standard, but it's becoming more common.

When my youngest was born, I spent 5 months at home with her while my wife worked.  That time turned out to be very special; I am really glad that it worked out that way.

[stevie1556]

Wishing you good luck for the job hunting bud.

Don't worry about the stigma/looks/etc for being a stay at home dad. At the end of the day, if you stay at home to look after the kids, and you and your wife are happy with it and it works for you then it's good. But if you want to swap round, then I wish you all the best in it.

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