The Joke Thread

[alanp]

... because laughter is good for you.

Four travellers are taking a train trip through Europe in the same car. A beautiful young blonde woman, an old Swiss lady, an Australian guy, and a Kiwi man.

The train passes through a dark tunnel, and a loud *SLAP* is heard. When the train emerges into sunlight, the Aussie is on the floor with a big red mark on his face. The thoughts of the people?

Old Swiss Lady: I bet he tried to grope the young lady and got slapped for it.

Blonde: I bet he tried to grope me, got the old lady by accident, and got slapped for it.

Aussie: I bet that Kiwi groped the blonde, and I got blamed.

Kiwi: I hope we get another tunnel, so I can slap the shit out of that damn Aussie again!

(From the newsletter at work, haha...)

[GermanCdn]

While most of my jokes border on crass, this one's always been a good PG one for me.

A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist "Got any grapes?"

Pharmacist looks at him and says "Sorry Mr. Duck, this is a phamacy, we don't have grapes here."

The duck returns the next day, looks at the pharmacist and asks "Got any grapes?"

Pharmacist looks down at the duck and says "Like I said yesterday, we don't sell grapes.  Maybe try the grocery store down the street."

Next day the duck is back at the pharmacist, and again asks "Got any grapes?"
The pharmacist looks down over the counter at the duck and says " Listen, we dont't have grapes and never will.  If you ever ask me again I'll nail your feet to the floor and stomp you to death."

The next day the pharmacist is closing up shop when the duck appears yet again.  As the pharmacist glares down at the duck, the duck asks "So, you got any nails?"

Pharmacist bursts out "This is a Pharmacy!  Of course I don't have any nails!"

"then....you got any grapes?"